Fat

We were sitting by the computer, chilling as a family.

Jess referred me to a picture she was looking at of our family vacation to Southern California a few years ago. She told me, "Sean, check out this picture and look at how far you've come".

I pulled up the picture.

I must admit, it was a little weird to look at. Kinda made me sick to my stomach.

It got a little more awkward when Rylee wandered over to the monitor.

Rylee (all matter-of-fact): "Oh my gosh you're fat!"

Thanks Rylee.

The only Rylee moment more precious than that was when we were sitting in the chapel right after sacrament meeting a few years back. Rylee's primary teacher was about 9 months pregnant and talking with Jessica. As she walked away, Jessica was telling Rylee that her teacher was about to have a baby, and that she had a baby in her tummy.

Rylee promptly turned to me, pointed to my stomach, and asked, "When are you going to have your baby?"

Once again, Thanks Rylee.

The Karate Kid

One more brilliant move to bring me one step closer to earning the coveted "father of the year" award.

A few weeks ago we ran into the classic "Karate Kid" playing on cable. Brought back a lot of memories.

The classic family tale of Daniel Larusso forced by his mom to relocate across the country, moving into a neighborhood full of black belt bullies, mentored by Mr. Miyagi's unorthodox methods.

The kids started watching it with us near the end, right before Daniel's big tournament.

The anticipation of my favorite line, "Get him a body bag!!" kept me riveted on the show; and apparently clouded my judgement. Parental Guidance was suggested by the Motion Picture Association of America, so for some reason, I thought it was a good idea to allow the kids to watch the show with me.

After Johnny "swept the leg" it looked like all was lost. Three little faces in my living room were very concerned and very worried for Daniel. (I would have been to if I didn't know how it all ended.) Fortunately, though Japanese healing magic took care of the problem and Daniel Larusso returned to the mat to finish what he started. Honestly, who really saw that coming???

Fortunately for all of us, with the score tied 2-2, and only able to stand on one leg, Daniel-son used the move Mr. Miyagi taught him. The one where he stands on his one good leg, with arms extended outward, hands oddly pointed downward. Mr. Miyagi nods his approval. This was the move, Miyagi told him, if performed correctly, can't be defended against. Daniel-son capitalized on this opportunity. He rose up and kicked Johnny right in the face to win the match. Just like I remembered.

The girls were really impressed with that final move. They all wanted to try it. Tayler and Rylee turned it into more of a funky, semi-graceful dance move. Jayson tried it too.

It seemed like good quality family time--a great way to spend an evening as a family. We all basked in the joy of Daniel's victory over Johnny. We all practiced the final move. (Except Jess. Who seemed to think we were all idiots.)

Seemed like such a great idea at the time.

Until last night when I was sitting on the end of our sectional, minding my own business. Jayson came up and stood on the couch by me. Then he raised up and kicked me in the face. He was so excited. It was beautifully executed. Much better than when we practiced after the movie. He laughed and bragged, "Daddy, I kicked you in the face".

It was then that a strange thought crossed my mind. "Maybe the PG rating was there for a reason." Maybe smart parents don't let their two year old boys watch movies about karate, fighting, and violence. Hopefully Jayson will grow up to be more like Daniel-son instead of Johnny--in spite of his father's lack of judgement.