Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Commuter Musings

Well maybe the environmentalists were right. But maybe not.
I've noticed an awful lot of roadkill during my commutes along the Legacy Parkway. Yesterday, I counted four animal carcasses on my way into work--three were unidentifiable. One I could smell. Coming home, I saw three different raccoon corpses along the side of the road.

Perhaps the parkway really has messed up these poor creatures' homes.
Then again, maybe the highway really isn't disturbing the animals too badly.
Apparently these seven didn't even know there was a road there at all.

The good news for me is that my commute is now taking me back down memory lane to my mission days in Kentucky.
I had never seen so much roadkill in my nineteen-year life.
Although there, the roadkill was different. The carcasses left along the roadside had names like "Spot", "Mittens", or "Sprinkles".

I think everything of value was scooped off the road, thrown into a pot or placed on a skillet.
Kentucky Fried Possom,
Squirrel Kabobs,
We ate at Taco Bell...a lot.

Coincidently, I had also never seen pamper-trees in Utah. Yep, dirty diapers hanging from the lower tree branches in them thar' hills. I'll save that for another post.

Sunday, November 23, 2008


I had the worst dream last night.

I dreamed the Cougars were in a tight game with the Utes but then Max Hall turned the ball over 6 times and the Cougs got blown out in the 4th quarter.
As the nightmare continued, I arrived home and Jess was acting, all of a sudden, like this huge Utah football fan who follows them all year long and never misses a game.
Well scoot over Jess, I might as well hop on the bandwagon and hope the Utes win their BCS game. After all, it's "good for the conference", right?

Next tradition. No more blue eggs, waffles and milk.
Maybe we'll try a blue breakfast burrito.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Rivalry Week

This morning, in celebration of "the Holy War", the kids and I sat down for our first annual Cougar Blue Breakfast:
Blue Eggs and ham, and cheese (for Rylee).
Blue Milk.
Blue waffles (with blueberries for me).

We started by singing the end of the Cougar fight song... "Goooooooo Cougars!"

Jayson, not at all sure what was going on, still played along (probably wondering where his real breakfast was).

Last night I tried to convince Jess (who was horrified when she opened the fridge friday night to a gallon of brand new--blue--milk) to play along and join us for breakfast. I begged. I badgered. No go.
As she headed upstairs for bed, I could clearly hear her saying:

"I do not like blue eggs and ham, I do not like them Sean I Am.
I would not eat them with Max Hall, I do not like them, Not at All!
I would not eat them with Steve Young, I will not touch them with my tongue.
I would not eat them with Heisman Ty, Why would you make them, Why, Why, Why?
I would not eat them with John Beck, Why would you make them, Oh My Heck!
I do not like blue eggs and ham, I do not like them Sean I Am"

And as she headed out this morning, I swear I heard:

"I would not eat them here, nor there,
I would not eat them anywhere.
I would not eat them in the MUSS (the crazy, half-sober, U student section),
I would not eat them without a fuss.
I will not eat them in the kitchen,
So Sean I Am, Please quit your (it trailed off as she shut the garage door)."

Go Cougs!!!

Sunday, November 9, 2008


Tayler has been trying to get me to make a leaf pile for years. We finally had enough leaves.
So while Jess was at work yesterday, her four kids (including me) played in the leaves.

As I was cleaning up the leaves, Tayler started collecting the best ones. "Daddy, for family home evening I want to teach you all how to rub leaves."
Sounded good to me.
She collected hundreds of leaves into two ziploc freezer bags and labeled one with her name and one with Rylees.
Tonight we made the art.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Please Bless THIS!

The Situation
Wednesday night Jess was gone with the Young Women.
That left Dad home with the kids.
Decided to make something quick and easy for dinner (and rotate something out of our food storage)...
Lasagna Hamburger Helper.

The Preparation
The girls were not the least bit excited about it.
They kept asking what it was while I was cooking it.
Tayler started to disclaim how hungry she really was and how she "probably didn't need much dinner tonight".

I slaved away for about 20 minutes (well, 14 minutes of that time was me watching TV, stirring the contents of the simmering pan "occasionally" as instructed on the box).

The Prayer
As we sat down to eat, Rylee wanted to say the prayer.
Rylee (halfway through the prayer): "please bless THIS!"
I could sense three-year-old sarcasm and had to open my eyes to see what she was talking about.
Rylee's face was filled with disgust and she was pointing down at her plate of lasagna Hamburger Helper.
Thanks Rylee. (Aren't the most sincere prayers answered first?)

The Meal
Tayler: "What is this dad??"
Dad: Lasagna Hamburger Helper
Tayler: It doesn't look like lasagna
Dad: The noodles are just smaller (I failed to add, and there's less cheese, it's not set up in layers, the sauce is way different, it might be a year old, and it's a good night to make it because your mom isn't here and she hates this stuff).
Tayler: I want cereal.
Tayler: When is mommy going to be home? She would let us eat cereal.
Dad: Eat it Tayler. I didn't even give you very much.
Tayler: Well, I guess I'll eat it this time...
Tayler (added for good measure): But I'm never eating this again.

The Post-Meal/Pre-Bedtime Snack
Tayer (with sidekick Rylee right behind her just before bedtime): Daddy, can Rylee and I have some peaches?
They ate the entire jar of peaches.

Remember the jingle? (Picture the living animated white glove with the little face) "Hamburger Helper, Helps the Hamburger, Help Her (or Him), Make a Great Meal!"

The Good News
Well, at least Jayson and I ate it.

Tayler's right. If Jessica were there, she and the girls would have eaten cereal.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Haunted by Halloweens Past

Halloween got me thinking about a little trend of regrets from some of my costumes of the past...

I have a memory of an elementary school superman costume. I remember struggling in the bathroom stall to put on my blue tights properly. I also remember, at that very moment, wishing I had chosen a different costume.

I remember a halloween during high school, where one of my best friends Keith escorted me to a Halloween party/dance at the stake center. I say "escorted" because I was his date. He was a real gentleman. He even helped me in and out of the car. My mom helped me with my costume. It came complete with long-haired wig, eyeshadow, mascara, and lipstick. Cute little blouse. Short skirt. High heels and nylons or tights (not sure which one, not sure I really know the difference). I was very thin back then and frighteningly cute (at least on that night) if I must say so. It took quite a while before people realized who I really was.
The slow dancing was nice.
Keith only got a hug at the doorstep. After all, it was only our first date.
All-in-all....not sure that night was my finest moment.

Halloween 2005.
Worst costume decision to date.
We were invited to a costume party at a neighbor's house. I had refused to go the year before, since I couldn't decide on a costume, so I ended up baby sitting a bunch of neighbor kids. Jess went without me.
This time I told Jess I would go with her to the party if she found me a costume.
Momentary lapse in judgement.
I came home from work to a Kimono, flip flops, a parasol, wig, and face makeup.
Geisha girl.
Correction...Geisha girl that looks like a really bad imitation of Boy George.

I made quite an impression that night. Several of the neighbor guys pretended to flirt with me throughout the evening. I did win best costume.
And got a few phone numbers.

This is what I saw when I looked closely in the mirror. Kinda freaked me out. Must've freaked out a few others. A year later, several people brought this up in their testimonies during church one sunday. Nice.

The kids were creeped out--and scared. They got used to me enough to pose for our 2005 Family Halloween picture. Rylee was the cute little lamby. Tayler was a little Tiger (or "Tigger" in her mind), Jess was whatever it is that costume was, and I was a creepy-looking, anything-but-feminine, Geisha girl.

Coincidently, that was the last Halloween I have dressed up for. Next time I dress up--no lipstick, no tights, no skirts, no kimonos.

I might use the parasol though.