Last night while attempting to set up our trampoline, someone nearly stepped in dog poop. In our backyard. Which is surrounded by a fence. And we don't have a dog.
In pondering this conundrum, I have found several possible solutions:
1) the mean German Shepard next door can jump a six foot fence.
2) her black lab life partner can dig a hole under the fence and repair the resulting divot with the skills of a professional greenskeeper
3) very large birds flying over our house have recently begun eating dog food
4) the golden retriever across the street has learned to hang glide
5) the black cat that often sits on our back fence has a mean sense of humor
6) pterodactyls are nocturnal flyers and aren't really extinct
7) neighborhood hooligans are performing the "doorbell ditch and leave a flaming paper bag of dog poop on the porch" trick without ringing the doorbell, lighting the paper bag, or stepping on the porch
8) the great dane two streets away has mastered the art of projectile bowel movements
9) the garbage man discovered we were putting excess concrete (the builders buried in our side yard) in the bottom of our garbage cans and decided paybacks were in order
10) the couple down the road who walk their dalmation without a scooper or plastic bag have mistaken our backyard as a public park
11) Tayler has stopped collecting lady bugs and has developed a new hobby of gathering fecal parasites
12) Rylee has been planting evidence in an effort to prove her theory about how her mother stained her feet (see yesterday's blog entry)
13) the rosehill dairy guy delivers more than just a gallon of 2% and a half gallon of chocolate.
14) the F-16 pilots drop a few bombs during their 2am flyovers.
15) one of our neighbors hates us
Well, whatever the cause there is a bright side. The dog poop was the only thing Jayson didn't pick up off the ground and put in his mouth.